Anger Management

controlling anger|dealing with anger|anger therapy|

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Great Approach For Controlling Emotions

The mind is a mysterious atmosphere was everyone has a diverse source of thoughts. We all have our problems, some of us more so than others do. Most of us have emotions, which include sadness, anger, joy, and so forth. The trick is learning to cope with it in our own way. Some strategies recommended are logs. Logs are a recorded list of emotions, feelings, expressions, solutions, and problems.

After sitting around for about a half hour or hour we can look back over our log to see what ignited our fire. It is important to recognize the problem and learn a strategy to deal with it, or else learn to cope with the problem in your own way. If possible, you can look at both sides. For example, if Jack angered you then you want to record what Jack to make you upset.

A great approach for addressing the problem is confronting Jack in a mild manner if Jack in fact did something justifying your madness. Another way to deal with anger is talking you through the madness. Why am I mad? What trip my trigger? What was I thinking when I blew up? Why can I deal with this problem? This is self-talk and it works wonders.

Talking to a trusted individual is also great for dealing with uncontrolled anger. The problem is you need someone with mental health knowledge. If you are talking to a friend and he or she says something that makes you anger then another problem is in the making. It is important to try hard to control your emotions when you are talking. This will help you to learn self-control if you practice this each time that you talk.

A great solution is exercise. Exercise has proven to enhance health, the mind, and the body, as well as controlling emotions. If you see that you are about to loose control, take a walk. Go around the block, or even walk three or four blocks. The more you exercise the more it helps. You might also want to go for a bike ride. Paddle until your anger blows through the wind.

Laughing is another great remedy for relieving anger. If you are angry, try to look at the situation with a sense of humor. For example, I was ready to blow up the world at one point due to an incident and injustice. When I was dealing with it, I literally wrote funnies on paper and laughed uncontrollably at the way I put things in perspective.

The truth is if you do not control anger, it will control you. If you do not want to exercise, create logs, write, or laugh, then think of this: if you do not take control of your anger one day you are going to blow up at someone and this person is either going to attack back and may be more dangerous than you are, and/or you will be sitting at the local country jail searching for a resource to bail out.

Once you get your buns in the criminal system, it is difficult to get out. You might pay your fines, spend some time in jail, hang around the courts for a while, and have someone else telling you what to do while on probation…this might last for a few months or years. Now, when you get your mug shot, fingerprints, and other reports you will see during the course of your life that others will constantly judge you as a violent source to society. This can affect your job, family, and life in whole.

Now if anger is a problem then you need to sit down and take a look at the consequences of your behaviors. If you fail to see consequences then you are in big trouble. Anger is an emotion that we all share. It is how we deal with anger that makes or breaks our lives and controls our level of success. If you have anger issues you might want to read the many reports that are available, analyze the scientific research for answers, and support to your uncontrolled anger problems.

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Saturday, February 04, 2006

Avoid Anger by Reasoning the Emotions

Reasoning with the emotions to avoid anger can establish useful over time. Emotions require food just like our body needs food to stay alive. When we are creating an external sign of truths to our emotions, we are imposing our potential power to control our anger. For instance, if you are reasoning that the current situation faced can not be solved you are setting your emotions up to explode when a trigger is hit. How we recognize each problem makes a difference to the emotions.

If we are thinking negatively then we will likely endure tribulation when we explode. On the other hand, if we feed our emotions with positive thinking then our life is heading down the road to success. This is where education comes into play. If you have a good education, you are learning strategies of life that benefit your emotions.

If you are lacking education, you will be lacking in emotion and subject to erupted when dangers present itself. When we erupt out of anger, we are only throwing fuel on an existing fire. Most emotional problems stem from faulty beliefs and teaching, therefore education plays a large role since you are learning from many sources that can teach you how to behave in life.

Most of us are taught to think logically in all situations, but from time to time illogical thinking can save a life. For example, reviewing an incident can help us to appreciate faulty teachings, beliefs and logic. A young woman is nearly murdered and finally escapes the hands of the angered person, and instead of going with her basic instincts, she decides to act out in accordance with what the people have taught, believed in and assumed the logic would work.

It backfired and the woman was recaptured by the stalker and hurt immensely. Now, if she would have adhered to her own thinking, belief and teachings since she was a survivor experienced in trauma she would have fared better. She believed by running to a lighted area would provide her a source of relief. Instead, it only helped the culprit take control.

If she would have trusted her self and ran to a dark area, she may have escaped with fewer injuries. After the culprit recaptured her, she had to use her emotions and head and avoid anger. Instead of joining in the violent act, she submitted her self to the predator, praying that he would stop. She thought about the scene carefully roaming her mind searching for a way to escape.

There was none! She then wiped her blood on the man’s shirt believing that if he killed her the evidence would help the police apprehend the man. Fortunately, her prayers paid off since her car for no apparent reason caught fire and drawn attention. If this woman had not used her head to maneuver through the horrific incident to date she would be dead. Now we can see that anger only enforces problems, rather than help us to reduce the problems at hand.

If you feel you are overwhelmed with problems you might want to review this account to see that your problems may be smaller than you have made them. We all add problems to our life by stressing over things that are not in our control. When we learn to take it one day at a time or appreciate what we have, we are taking the steps to control our emotions and life.

Reasoning with the emotions to avoid anger is simply. If you are thinking, negative thoughts flip it around and put the cards in your hand. Life is like a game of poker and the leader has control since he has the royal flush. You are holding a pair in your hand, but you have control since the cards will be dealt again. When you are reviewing a problem, take a look at both sides to see where you fit in the picture.

If you are adhering to behaviors that instigate the problem, find a way to resolve by taking a positive approach and deal with your anger. Good and bad comes to us all, but the power is put in our hands by dealing with emotions and reasoning with the source of the problem.

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

How To Deal With Anger When You Are Dealing With Society

Anger in society has been continuing since the beginning of humankind’s first bad decision. We look back through our history and see that anger has played a big role in society. We can also see that anger continues as the year’s development, as more and more people are being mad.

There have been a numeral of children reports around American where the child interrupted a life due to anger. The list continues to grow out of reach as the days continue to make more burdens on the life of us all. We have the government making numerous of mistakes, the religious leaders all confused in what is right and what is wrong, and the society that has their own set of rules and regulations. Is it any wonder the whole world has not gone mad.

We all face problems each day, some of us more than others do. We are all subjects to anger since it is an emotion we all have. There is not one time in our lives that we all have not exploded. We may have yelled at the neighbor, a best friend, spouse, child or even our dog. We all are angry at some point in our lives. The deal is learning how to cope with anger. Anger can make you or break you. In other words, your success depends on how you control your anger.

In this article, I am going to tell you how to deal with anger when you are dealing with society, the justice system, religion, or other sources. Now, this article is only intended for an audience of people that are mad as hell because of someone else’s actions. For example, if you were a victim to an assault and the justice system failed, then you are mad as hell. This is ok, since you have the right to be angry.

Now, here is the key to success. Let that anger work, yet repress it to the degree that you can handle what I am about to tell you. This worked wonders for me, and if you are a sincere person, it will work wonders for you too. If you are experiencing a problem with another individual, you have the right to contact the authorities. You have the right to protest, contacting your area representative or state representative. You the right to contact any higher official that will work for you and you have the right to tell all the details surrounding the incidents. You do not have the right to beat someone up, attack him or her emotionally, or insult him or her verbally. You have the right to protect yourself if someone threatens your life, or being, but you do not have the right to strike out without cause.

In certain incidents, the opposite person did something to make you angry. This means that you have a right to defend your self legally and righteously. If you have to resort to informing the higher authorities, then so be it. You did nothing wrong as long as you are honest. The key to success then is staying honest regarding whose feelings you hurt or whose toes you step on.

An honest person often feels good inside and when a situation occurs that angers them, they often know how to handle it. When we are not honest to our selves or others then we are laying a foundation for hate, which leads to anger outbursts. If we are doing something wrong, it often bothers our conscious and we will act out angrily when our emotions are interrupted.

Do not get me wrong, an honest person can become angry, since it is an emotion. When you are honest, you are subject to a series of attacks by others, that liars are not ordinarily subjected too. This is because the system is used to lies and when a person is honest not everyone will understand the person. Therefore, you are working against anger, yet in the same token you are working against the sources that make you angry. Sometimes fighting fire with fire is the ultimate source for dealing with anger.

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The Relation Between Self-Esteem and Anger

How does self-esteem take part in emotions and anger? When a person has a low self-esteem, he can be a subject to anger, because their emotions are unbalanced. When a person feels good about him self, he often has good self-control, which makes his life easier and brighter. They can be able to socialize without running into problems along the way. Everyone has their own problems, but when we have self-control, our self-esteem is frequently showing to others. Therefore, we see a confident person they don’t mind to associate with this person and they may even wonder whether the person does have such a wonderful attitude.

On the other hand, when a person has self-esteem issues they are often looked down upon since their behaviors are evident of their problem. Why do we have self-esteem? What is the purpose of this normal product in a being? Self-esteem is a respect for oneself, and confidence within. When we feel in control of our person, we often know how to avoid problems sufficiently. Usually when a person has low self-esteem they often associate with others that have aggressive mental issues, low self-images, and more problems than the average deal with.

When a person feels bad about their self-worth, they will often join in risky activities or intake harmful substances that only increase the anger inside. We are all different in our own way. Some of us are abused, some heavy, some skinny, some beautiful and some are not. We can look at this in many ways to find a resolve inside our selves, rather than dwelling on what we cannot change. Many of the beautiful people prove ugly since their personalities illustrate unruly behaviors or attitudes.

Therefore, are you are good person with a low self-esteem? If you are then you might want to boost that image of yourself since many people like a good person. Did you know that you do not have to be a rocket scientist to have a good outlook in life? When people see us smiling cheerfully when we are out in public they often stand back and wonder what high pill you take. They will not wonder if you are rich, poor, or suffered a dreadful life, rather they will see the person inside.

If you see how self-esteem makes or break a person, you will know that this is an instigator of your anger. We all deal with anger differently. When we deal with anger and good results come in the picture then we know we have control. On the other hand, if we are internally medicating ourselves, forcing our emotions to believe we are less than others are, then we do not have control, rather we have anger under the surface and at any time, we are ready to explode. Let’s review you self-esteem.

How do you feel inside most days? Do you think that you are a good person and feel that your life is in control? Do you spend hours in the closet trying to find an outfit that will enhance your looks? Do you spend hours in the mirror studying your features wondering what you can change about your appearance? These are a few of the signs that tell us what type of self-esteem you have of your self. And if you are spending hours finding a way to change your appearance you are only developing anger within, since you are who you are and you are not accepting it.

Most likely, you endured some hardships throughout your history that contributed to your self-image, therefore you need to examine your inner being and inner child to find out what occurred that made you feel the way you do. If you were abused, remember you were the victim and now you are survivor. That my friend is positive and it should help to see that you are worth as much as any other person in life. You are angry because of how people treated you and probably feel like you let your self down. This is not true! Someone else let you down, which threatened your emotions and this is where anger lies. If you have anger issues, get help, there is nothing wrong with it!

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Manage Anger Problems

There are many anger problems in the world, which calls for a diversity of management since not all angered persons do something alike. Some of the angered persons can walk around the block and cool down, while others cannot. It depend on the person and scale of anger involved, but each person is unlike, so we must look at anger on different levels. We all get mad. There is no avoiding it.

However, how we deal with anger is what matters. The society has its own set of rules and regulation that defines how a person should behave in society. This is corrupted, since every one of us is different in our own way. We are based on ethnics, class, gender, race, culture, and so forth. This means that each of us has emotions on different levels of teaching and mental status.

Normal is defined as conforming to a set of rules, standards and principals. Principal is defined as the most important or leader. Therefore, what these people believe may not be what another person believes. We are all taught to believe that the leaders are right and the rest of us are wrong. This is incorrect, since the leaders have proven failures.

Therefore, anger is the seat of controlling individuals in the world. This is only one portion of the many roots of anger. If a person grows up in a dysfunctional home, it is said that the person will most likely become a menace to society, since this person did not meet the standards, rules, and principals of society.

However, I have analyzed dysfunctional children and adults, and acknowledge standards, morals and values that the so-called norm society lacks. I have watch dysfunctional children grow into progressive adults, making a name for them selves in society. I have watched dysfunctional children commit crimes, and feel remorse, and at the same time watched the higher class of people commit crimes and make excuses. So we see that moral and values are another root to anger. We see that when a person’s rights to moral and value belief are violated it creates problems.

Now, here is the trick. If our beliefs differ from the so-called norm then we need to reroute making a crossroad the disengages us from society, yet makes us fit in unnoticeably. We are able to adhere to our own beliefs, values and morals without interrupting the society. One method for this is writing. If you can write sit down and write a damn good book expressing your opinions, theories, ideas, beliefs, et cetera and if possible get it published.

Not only are you dealing with your problems, you are also telling society, the legal system, the political world, and the religious cults what you think and feel. This is great, since everyone reads and instead of beating the hell out of someone for their ignorance, you can tell them off in a book. If you cannot publish then at least you are venting your anger in words.

Words have proven to be affected for dealing with emotions. If you cannot write, but have other creative/artistic skills then put them to good use. I found that many individuals that have mental illness, anger issues, and so forth often have a creative/artistic side that is often ignored. I noticed when the skills were put to good use the persons were more relaxed. Dancing is a skill of creativity and artistic, and if you practice dancing you might find your anxiety and tension subsiding.

There are many techniques and strategies for dealing with anger, yet we have to explore each method, since all of us are different. The ignorance and stupidity alone in the world is enough to make anyone blow up with anger, however, it is all how you handle it. If you learn control, you might find others listening to you when you are speaking in a mild manner. Throwing honey on a problem brings forth more results than throwing fuel on the fire. This brief information of anger problems and management is nowhere near enough information to deal with the many problems we all face; however, it is a start to success.

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The Source of Anger

When we analysis the source of our anger, it frequently helps us to see the answers we missed when our emotions had control. Emotions are our make up and they control our anger, sadness, joy and all other features of our thoughts if we allow it. If you are having problem managing your emotions, you most likely experience worry, depression, and turn into uncontrollable when your anger explode.

The best solution then is writing down your emotions and thoughts on paper and look for the triggers that broken up your emotions. For example, I was involved in an incident that caused my mind’s image to break off into fragments. I am unable to analysis the whole episode that created the chaos in my head.

The incident caused my nerves to shatter, which led to anxiety attacks and periodical depression episodes. I cannot cope with everyday life and I often try to avoid people to minimize the conflict in my life. I have flashbacks on occasions that upset my nerves and emotions and when someone triggers me, I want to strike out and hurt them as they have hurt me.

We are dealing with posttraumatic stress disorder in this experience; therefore, we need a coping strategy that works best for us. We see that the anger is going to get the best of the individual if he or she does not find a way to control the emotions that causes an uproar leading to anger outbursts. First, this person cannot stand to be around loud noises so staying away from crowds is best for now. Finding a safe haven in your home and a quite environment often works best to prevent anger and stress outbreaks.

You might want to take Ginkoba for alertness to help enhance your mind. You might even want to visit a mental health expert and ask for a prescription that helps deal with posttraumatic stress disorders. Trazadone is great for relieving nightmares and night sweats, which are symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder. Vitamin C and Vitamin B-Complex are also great to enhance the mind and help a person cope with stress. If you have difficulty focusing, which is another symptom included in the diagnose then you might want to focus on smaller tasks and move ahead to bigger tasks when you are ready.

Learn to relax. Taking deep breaths before your emotions erupt is often good for dealing with anger. Yoga and exercise are great for helping the body and mind to relax. If you struggle with emotions its best to find out what works best for you and practice each day relaxing approaches to healing.

It is important to pamper your self and avoid stress and stressors as much as possible. Remember you are at a greater risk of anger explosion more so than the common people in society are. The diagnose formally known as ‘war shock’ will take you boldly where no one will ever go. It is important to learn the symptoms and find a way to deal with it accordingly.

Learning is growing and when your mind grows, it is developing a great survival strategy. Remember when you are overly stressed your body is affected gravely. Your diagnose puts you at a deeper risk, since anxiety and stress levels of posttraumatic stress disorder opens the door to heart attacks and strokes. Eventually you will need to face the trauma that put you in this state of mind.

Therefore, I highly recommend that you write everyday. Role-playing is also great for these diagnoses and will reduce anger and emotions. Sit down in a comfortable area and pretend someone in the chair across from you loves you. The person has your best interest at heart. Now begin telling your imaginary friend the problems you are dealing with and what you are feeling inside. If you are feeling angry, tell the person how you feel and why you are feeling this way if possible. If you need to punch something soft, so you will not get hurt.

Finally, vent all your energy and anger by vocalizing to your imaginary friend and when you finish review your scene carefully. Put the anger in review and take charge of your position when you see that your anger is not out of your reach.

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The Anger Signs

What are the signs of anger? Because nobody is equal it can not be able to define, however because anger is the same we can sum it up. Angry persons will physically attack others, whether it is verbally or physically. An anger person will smack, strike, punch, threaten, shove, or kick others when their anger controls him. They are habitually aggressive, sarcastic, nagging, and will often grumble about everything.

They are malicious toward others, which includes spreading rumors, retaliating, or defiantly striking out against another. Persons with anger problems often display anti-social behaviors, including denial and inability to relate to others. Angry persons often act out in hate and will go out of their way to hurt others in the process. They often have negative thinking patterns and these patterns are displayed to others. When a person is angry, they often tell others that you are stupid. Alternatively, you are ugly and no one wants you.

This is belittling the other person and the angry person often finds relief. When a person has difficulty dealing with his or her anger they will often vent their lack the ability to trust others. They are often suspicious, whining, judgmental, and often jealous of others. They will act out disruptively, and retort to disobliging reactions. A person with anger issues will often try to under mind anyone around them. These types of people are no fun to be around and they do need help.

Recently I dealt with a woman that had uncontrollable anger issues. For no apparent reason she would react to minor issues. Issues such as a child eating too much or eating something that she envied was enough to instigate a reaction. Sometimes she was mild in her acts, and other times she was outrageous. In most instances, she had no foundation for her behavior; however, there was an underlying source. The woman did in fact display anti-social behaviors, and often communicated erupting thinking patterns.

For example, she would say that all men are pigs. She also talked about leading men on; leading them to her basement and having alligators eat them alive. The woman was deranged and very sick minded. Now she was diagnosed with Bipolar – Manic Depression, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. After carefully examining her, I dismissed Posttraumatic Stress or at most minimized the diagnosed since most of her symptoms were that of histrionic, anti-social traits. Now the root of her anger according to her was that the many men she endured relationships with mistreated her.

This may have been partial reason, but the truth showed when she talked about her life. She was adopted; therefore, she had a sense of abandonment. The root her is obvious, since she most likely hated her parents for tossing her away like garbage. Even if the parents were justifiable, or rather had a good cause to adopt, she refuses to hear the other side. Since the woman had ongoing symptoms of this type of behavior, I noticed that treatment would probably never work since she was a victim of her own state of mind and in complete denial.

I noticed that the woman had anger deep within due to her own behaviors. She acted out criminally, writing bad checks and justifying it. Therefore, the symptoms she endured were partially her own making. She created her anger and paranoia, therefore her anger is on her and no one else. However, angry people will under mind others. For example, the angry person might say something to the affect: try these diet pills they will help you loose weight.

Now the person knows that the target has an area of self-esteem since she is normal weight, but thinks she is fat. Therefore, the angered person is trying to belittle the individual by under minding her. An angry person will also seek attention and often use negative words. For example, I am fat. Now the person is waiting for you to tell her that she is exaggerating. The best thing to do in this instances is do not sit yourself up for a fall. No matter how many times you tell the person that she is not fat, or she just needs to drop a few pounds you are never going to satisfy her mind, since denial is the root.

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Why I Should Be Angry

We all asked the same question our lifetime. The best way to respond is to ask the person to explore deep in their own mind and search for the answers. Having full control of your life is almost impossible, because we all have bosses. This causes anger for some of us, because we may have undergone a life with a controlling person, or parent.

We all have rules to follow and this frequently take off people when they see certain rules are ridiculous. We may live with our family and sometimes, someone gets on our nerves. We may work and feel that the job is just not passing by, and wish we had a better place in life. We may go to school and someone is underestimating us, or else intimidating us emotionally.

There are lots of reasons a person is angry and all the listed at reasonable for anger to occur. What matters is how we learn to manage with our anger. Either we can take the path to demolition or we can wonder off down the road to success. Either way you are going to feel anger, because the way to success has many harsh areas. However, the road to destruction has rocky roads ahead that will not only anger you, but others that you affected by your anger.

Because anxiety and depression as said by scientist play a large role in anger we can stare at a few ideas to see whether they may work for you. If you have harsh anxiety hits you may want to consult a therapist and ask for Buspirione, which has minimal side affects for treating anxiety. If you suffer depression, you may want to request your therapist about the variety of serotonin-specific reuptake inhibitors that are not risk. Natural herbs, as well as Kava Kava are great for reducing anxiety, stress and depression as well.

If you are not into pills, you may want to do exercises and take on a healthy diet to build your body’s cells, tissues, insulin, and so on. Once your healthy you will perceive a difference in your attitude, which is a mainly function of the anger. If you have a hard time exercise, try to start out slow and work your way up to a good schedule. You may also want to write down your feelings, emotions, and thoughts and sort through the details each time you finish on your diary. If you have children and they are getting on your nerves, you might want to take a break.

Ask a reliable family member of friend whether they could take the children for a day or two. If you get a day off, try to relax your mind by using Yoga techniques. Or you spend your time doing something that you like to do. Walking can be great idea for reducing tension and stress. Tension and stress affects the emotions, which increases your chances of exploding out of anger. If you feel stressed go visit your best friend and talk about something fun. Spend a day on the beach or a night on the town.

You may work hard all week and the stress is now catching up to you. Go to the store and buy yourself something affordable and nice, rewarding yourself for a hard week of work. Every time you do something good, be sure to reward your self because this creates positive thinking. If you screw up then do not bang you head, rather tell your self you are human you and can make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and face the world.

If you are in a relationship and your mate is a jerk do not hesitate to confront him or her. Let them identify that their manners is improper and you will not tolerate these continuing habits. There is nothing wrong with defending your honor and there is nothing wrong with addressing your problems, providing you do it without bursting out of anger. If you are having, financial difficulties you might desire to run to the library and take out a book on credit repair. You will find many solutions that can bring relief to your life. Managing your anger means managing your life as well.

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